Marigolds and Snowdrops
by lethedrop
Summary: Despair and hope. When all else is done, Ryou happily solves the problem of his continuing heartbeat. Going with the "two halves of one soul" theory.


Disclaimer: I don't own _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ or _Bleach_ or profit from this fanwork.

—_seiza _- traditional Japanese sitting posture. Stable, but uncomfortable if you don't do it regularly.

—In _Bleach_, marigolds represent the Third Division. Their flower meaning is "despair". Snowdrops, symbolizing "hope", represent the Thirteenth Division. As a heads-up in case I continue this, my favorite _Bleach_ characters are Ukitake and Kira.

—Kamataki-sensei was inspired by Kou from _Wild Adaptor_.

**Marigolds and Snowdrops**

_What if…I don't go back to school…?_

It was as though he had been sleeping, and the thought was a dash of cold water in his ear. He sat still for a moment, letting the idea sink in, and then he gently shut his math textbook and set it on top of his half-finished homework printout. There was something horribly, wonderfully final about the way he cut off the lamp and pushed his chair into place under the desk.

He paused in the doorway to the tatami room. There was nothing final about the half-finished 1,000 piece puzzle on the table. He'd dug it out a few weeks prior in a fit of boredom, but had never felt motivated enough to place more than a few pieces at a time. It was a puzzle he'd planned on doing with his relatives before intervening circumstances (being periodically possessed by a vengeful spirit who turned out to be the other half of his soul, split from him 3,000 years ago in Ancient Egypt) had driven him back to the isolation/solitude of his globe-trotting father's apartment. His Other had been about to loose patients with his relatives, which would have been poor thanks to them for taking Ryou in.

He turned away and walked to the kitchen. It was a quarter to five, the time he always had a light snack before preparing dinner, and routine had him munching a few _senbei_ crackers and brushing his teeth before he quite knew what he was doing. It was routine that had kept him fed through the past couple months.

When he finally got to the front door, he didn't hesitate to don his Other's trench coat—his Other had been gone for two months, one week and four days and probably wouldn't have minded anyway. Besides, this was a visit to one of his Other's contacts. Black leather seemed appropriate for a shop frequented by yakuza.

It was an over two hours' walk to the tiny herbal remedies shop. Although the bus system didn't exclude the least affluent section of Domino, Ryou thought the extra time en route would give his subconscious a chance to argue the case for continuing in school.

Nothing occurred to him, though. He spent the trip in a slightly more dazed state than was usual for him, in which everything from the little brown birds to the skyscrapers seemed gloriously ephemeral. He often had to pause to admire a particularly beautiful sight, such as the spiderweb in a corner of shop overhang or an infant fast asleep while buckled into her bicycle seat.

The light grew fainter as the buildings grew shabbier, and by the time Ryou reached his destination the sky in darkening in shades of scarlet, violet and midnight blue. With supplementation from a flickering street lamp, it was just enough illumination to read the hand-painted sign: _Blue Gecko Shop—traditional medical supplies_.

He slipped through the door took a deep breath of the tangy, comforting scent of medicinal herbs. The lighting was only marginally better inside than outside, but he knew the shop well. The visible shelves held sundry small goods for first aid kits and home supplies, and over-the-counter conventional and traditional medicines. Anyone seeking the more strictly regulated synthetic drugs or _kanpo_ herbs, or the proprietor's services as a fence or as a _moguri_, an unlicensed practitioner, needed a good reference. Most customers were yakuza or family of yakuza.

Ryou wasn't sure how his Other had found the place, but as his Other delighted in situations that put him in need of Kamataki-sensei's services and yet lacked the patience to sit still for stitches, Ryou had become rather well acquainted with the grandfatherly proprietor. Speaking of whom—

Kamataki-sensei stepped out from behind the counter, wizened visage welcoming. "Good evening, Bakura-san. I haven't seen you in a while, how have you been?"

"I'm fine, sir. And yourself?"

"Oh, you know, I'm not getting any younger, but I still manage just fine. Now really, don't beat around the bush. You look tired—would you like a pick-me-up? How about a vitamin shot? A young man like you should be full of energy, for the finding and escaping of trouble. And women. Often one and the same, eh?" He chuckled.

Ryou smiled politely. "It's good to hear you're doing well, sir. I…well, actually, I've run into a small problem, but I'm hoping you'll be able to help."

Kamataki-sensei turned with a grace that belied his fragile form and started for the back room. "Come on back, then, and let's discuss it at leisure."

The back room was almost comforting in its familiarity, despite—he didn't want to think because of—the faint smell of blood. Ryou could identify one of the blotchy stains on the floor as his own, from the time he'd come back to himself in front of the store with a sack of aristocrat-worthy jewelry and a carelessly wrapped, sharply painful hand.

Kamataki-sensei lay out mats for them to sit on and poured two cups of his favorite medicinal tea. After folding his legs in _seiza_, Ryou sipped the bitter blend, unsure how to begin. Kamataki-sensei waited patiently, making appreciative noises over his tea.

"I've decided to die," Ryou said finally. Kamataki-sensei's eyes widened minutely before he composed himself.

Ryou took another sip of tea. "Is there anything you can sell me to make it quick and painless?"

Kamataki-sensei gazed into his face for a long moment. "With the amount of resolve I sense in you, I suppose there is no way for me to change your mind? You've been a good customer here, and I admit to liking you on a personal level—both the gentle face you're showing me now, and the wild face that frightens even my foolish nephew of a yakuza boss. Even if it's outside my usual services, is there nothing I can do to make living a better option for you?"

Ryou ducked his head, flushing slightly. "Thank you…your kind words ease my heart, but the truth is that my "wild face" has gone on before me, and I would rather join him than linger here. If it's burdensome, though, I can find another way."

Kamataki-sensei mused on this, for once looking very much his age. He finished his tea and set the cup aside. "Nonsense!" He suddenly seemed full of energy. "If your mind is made up, then all I can do is my best for you! In fact, I have just the thing—it's a bit expensive, but if you use it you're guaranteed not to need the money anymore." They shared a laugh. "Still, I urge you to take at least a few days to think about it a little more."

"Thank you, but I won't reconsider." Ryou felt calmer and more at peace than he'd been in a long time. He was slightly impatient to wrap up the matter, but he liked Kamataki-sensei enough that delaying for this chat wasn't a bother.

Kamataki-sensei was nodding slowly. "Well, that's that, then." He rose and went to one of the cabinets that lined the walls. "This is a rare poison, so would you mind telling me where you intend to leave your remains, so my nephew's boys can clean up? Even though it couldn't be traced back to me, there's no reason to upset the authorities over a personal matter."

Ryou tilted his head in thought. "I didn't have a particular place in mind. Is there somewhere I should go that would be convenient for them?"

"Why don't I just lay out a futon for you? We already have a system for removing my less fortunate patients." Kamataki-sensei's lips quirked wryly as he returned to his mat with a generic plastic bottle in hand.

"Thank you!" Ryou smiled genuinely for the first time in over two months, grateful to have everything taken care of. Except for the people he was leaving behind…but the fault couldn't be entirely his that he didn't have a strong enough bond with any of them to hold him. He dug out his wallet and removed all the yen he'd kept at home, from loose change to the emergency stash. "Is this enough?"

Kamataki-sensei flipped through the bills. "More than enough. Is there anything you'd like me to do with the extra?"

"Keep it, please. As you said, I won't be needing it." Ryou grinned.

Kamataki-sensei sighed, but pocketed the money. He fetched a futon from a bottom cabinet and helped Ryou make up the bed.

Ryou took off his shoes and got in, arranging the covers over himself from a seated position. Kamataki-sensei handed him a large, off-white pill with as much of a smile as he could muster. "I'll fetch you a glass of water."

"That's all right, thank you." Ryou popped the pill in his mouth and swallowed it dry, then lay back.

"Shall I stay or go, Bakura-san?" Kamataki-sensei asked quietly.

"I'd be honored if you would stay, if you aren't busy, sir." Everyone died alone, but it would be nice to have company for as long as possible.

Kamataki-sensei set his sitting mat beside the futon and knelt in _seiza_.

Gradually, Ryou's limbs became warm and heavy, as though he were soaking in a hot bath. His vision blurred pleasantly, but he could still make out Kamataki-sensei's kind, sorrowful smile. "Thank you for everything, sir," he slurred. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Bakura-san." Kamataki-sensei's voice stretched like taffy into the distance, and his face floated farther and farther away, on the opposite side of a dim tunnel.

Ryou faded away.

- - -

He woke in a narrow, unpaved alley to the clopping of _geta_ sandals and the cries of street venders, and an irritated Voice in his head.

**End** and **Beginning**

—If I continue this, it will become a _Bleach_ crossover. I have some vague ideas, but I'm not comfortable with either the characters or the universe. The muse refuses to consider switching to _Yami no Matsuei_, which is so much more familiar to me.


End file.
